I'm Afraid to Grow Up (But I'm Doing it Anyways)

It's a cold October Friday afternoon. I'm lying in bed, Christmas lights twinkling around my room, candles lit, and of course Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm in my happy place. Besides the fact I'm fighting off a killer cold. And I'm having a panic attack about growing up.

This all started because I had to go to the doctors and get medicine so I would feel better. Being the broke college kid that I am, I had no money in my account so I had to call my mom and ask for some. After a little arguing and a lot of begging, I had money in my account. But then I started thinking, someday, I'm not going to be able to rely on my mom for money if I run out. Someday, I'm going to be in my mom's place and my kids are going to call me from college begging for me to give them money. I then came to the realization that I am absolutely horrified to grow up.

So far, growing up has brought a lot of positives, and a lot of negatives. Physically, I feel like I'm a reverse ugly duckling who learned about the Freshman 15 the hard way. Emotionally, I am stronger than ever, besides the occasional breakdown about classes or presentations. Mentally, theres a lot of stuff going on. Not like, crazy stuff, just a lot of connecting the dots. Slowly realizing that my 100-level psychology class relates to my 400-level management class.

Thinking about where I am going to be in one year, let alone ten years, scares the crap out of me. I don't even know what I am doing next weekend for Halloween, how am I supposed to figure out where I am going to live, work, start my family, etc.? Like, will I be married in five years? The idea that I'm at the age where I can get married and people can't judge me sketches me out.

Even though I'm absolutely horrified, I'm growing up anyways. Well obviously you're growing up, Kaitlyn. Not like you can control age. Yes I know, internal thoughts. Though it would be killer to be Father Time, I meant that I'm not fighting growing up.

Growing up is such a scary, yet wonderful thing. I'm learning so much about myself and life all while being freaked out during the journey. As my friend Tarah always says, "Trust the journey." So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to trust the journey. I'm so scared, but it's for a reason. In the end, I know I will be successful and live a happy life. The journey to get there might be full of some ups and downs, but I guarantee that I am going to learn something new every step of the way.

It's okay that I don't know where I am going to live in six months, even though I should probably get on that. It's okay that sometimes I still have to ask my mom for money, as long as at the end of the day I am thankful for it and she knows it. It's okay that I have no idea where I am going to work because I am figuring it out one day at a time. And, it's okay that I'm afraid to grow up, because I am doing it anyways.

Until Next Time,

Kaitlyn

My Quick Recap: #PRSSANC

Last week, I was blessed with the opportunity to travel to Washington, D.C. for the 2014 PRSSA National Conference. I flew out of GRR Thursday night and made the trip to BWI. And let me tell you, that trip was something. Never in my life have I taken so many forms of public transportation in under 24 hours. Shuttles, planes, another shuttle, train and the subway. Talk about a little culture shock from a girl who has never even rode a metro bus before.

Besides the culture shock, this conference really changed me. How you may ask?

Confidence. After this weekend, I feel more confident in myself. I learned that sometimes its okay to brag about your skills, as long as you do it without sounding stuck up. You have the right to share all of the great things you've been doing. I keep telling myself that I'm thousands of dollars in debt from college so its okay to tell people how I'm learning so much and that my major is the bomb. But, this is not the same thing as telling every single person you meet that you are the best candidate for a job. Save it for when it really matters. Like in a cover letter or a job interview. Even then, don't sound like a tool looking for a job.

With that being said, I found out that I really sell myself short of what I can do. For some reason, I always viewed myself as some small town girl with no real chance at an awesome job. After I started talking to some other students, I realized that I'm not just a small town girl, but I am an ambitious small town girl with a great education under her belt that can do anything. And get an awesome job.

Stronger bonds. This weekend brought me closer to my five members from my chapter. I was pretty close with them before, but we got on a whole different level of friendship. After spending almost every moment with each other for five days, you learn a lot about others. I'm thankful for how close I got to my members and friends.

I learned a ton! Name a field of PR and I guarantee you I learned something about it this weekend. I dare you. That's how much I learned. This conference opened my eyes to all of the opportunities that are out there. I also had the chance to listen to some amazing speakers, such as Amy Robach from Good Morning America. She spoke to us about the importance of telling people's stories. During her presentation, I couldn't help but smile. When I went to college, all I wanted to do was be able to tell peoples' stories and I had no idea how I could do that. And I didn't want to be a journalist. Now, I've got the perfect combo of business and storytelling. It's perfect. PR is perfect.

You know what else I realized? I have no idea what I'm doing and that's okay.

When I left for D.C., I was 100% positive that this conference was going to solidify what I wanted to do. I wanted to work in an agency and I wanted to end up in Detroit. That was my goal on the first day of this trip. Things have taken an interesting turn since then. Now, I feel like I can do anything or go anywhere. My heart will always belong in Michigan and my ultimate goal is to end up there, but I don’t think I would be too sad if I relocated to a different state for a while.

I didn't want to bore you too much with all my PR ramblings, so that's my quick recap! Maybe I'll touch on PRSSANC in another post. We'll see. ;)

Until Next Time,

Kaitlyn

How Cheerleading Relates to the Real World

Fun fact everyone: I used to be a cheerleader.

This may not come to a surprise to most people (especially if you know me), but I was a cheerleader. And I loved it. I lived and breathed cheerleading for about seven years. The transition from full-time cheerleader to (still) wannabe cheerleader has been really rough for me, which explains why I’m writing a whole post dedicated to cheerleading. It was important to me and it helped shape me into the confident woman I am today. I wanted to take the time to share some tips I learned in cheer actually ended up being life lessons

1. It's okay to fail. I promise you it is okay to fail, but only if you learn from your mistakes. If you drop someone mid stunt, you better learn from your mistakes. If you don't and you keep dropping your flyers, no one will trust you. How does this relate to the real world?  Take a look at your life and tell me you haven’t made a mistake before. If you try and tell me you haven’t made a mistake, I’m going to tell you that you just made a mistake by lying to me. Everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes are human. What you do with your mistakes is what defines you as a person.

2. The truth may hurt, but you'll grow from it. This is probably the most important thing I learned. I will never forget the time I had my team sit down with me and tell them that I was holding them back skill-wise. It was probably the most heartbreaking thing someone had ever told me. A little back story: I was not the strongest tumbler at all. I was definitely strong enough to tumble, but would scare myself out of it last second. I was not about the idea of breaking my neck. But anyways, when I had my peers straight up tell me the truth, I was so upset. How dare they tell me that I was holding them back! I worked so hard and I was fighting to be the best. After about five minutes of being extremely angry and frustrated, I decided that crying about it was not going to get me anywhere. I realized that they told me this for a reason. They knew I could do better, but I needed that push from my teammates. I threw new skills that night and it was the best feeling ever. 

The moral of the story: it really sucks to be criticized, especially by your peers. But they wouldn’t be telling you the truth if they didn’t have respect for you. Take it as a compliment, figure out how you can improve and move on.

3. Helping others grow is the best feeling in the world. I don't know how many people have helped someone grow before, but I highly suggest you do it. I'm not talking about literally grow. That's not a thing. I'm talking about as a person. I've had the chance to help coach high school cheerleaders before, and it's such a rewarding experience. Making a difference in someone's life can change them (and you!) for good. Relate this to your classes, your organizations you are apart of or your work. Find someone you can relate to and help them reach their goals. Don’t be creepy about it, but just encourage them to keep improving and working for what they really want.

4. "Fake it till you make it" can actually work. I've learned the best way to be happy when you're really sad is to fake it 'till you make it. Once upon a time, I got dumped over the phone during halftime of a game. I was really upset. Actually I was more angry than upset, but that's not the point.  I had to get back out there and cheer, and you can't have a sad cheerleader. I went out to the basketball court and I smiled the entire second half. And as silly as it seems, it totally works. Sometimes, faking a smile can really help turn your mood around. 

5. But most of the time it can't. Besides my cute little story about how smiling can change your mood, I wouldn't suggest faking it till you make it in every aspect of life. Let's say, you're learning a new routine or a stunt and you really have no idea what's happening. You think to yourself, "I'll just fake it and pretend I know what I'm doing until I fully understand." Do that if you want to be responsible for breaking someone’s neck. You can get away with faking it sometimes, but the more you know and the more prepared you are in life, the better. Especially with cheerleading. You can't mess around with that stuff when you're throwing people in the air and catching them. 

This same concept applies to life. Put on a happy face at work if you’re sad. You’ll feel better. Don’t half-heartedly doing your job. That is one thing you cannot fake. Eventually, doing sub-par work is going to catch up to you. If you aren’t confident in a skill, ask someone for help instead of pretending to know what to do.

6. It's okay to take a break from the real world. Cheerleading was my escape from the real world. The second I stepped onto that mat, nothing else mattered. I didn't care if I got in a fight with my roommate or if I didn’t do well on an exam. This was my “me time” to leave all my worries behind. Of course, I had to come back to them at the end of practice, but I always felt a lot better afterwards. It's okay to walk away for a bit if you're stressed out, just make sure you come back in a timely manner.

7. Hard work will pay off. At the end of the day, your hard work is going to pay off. All the extra conditioning, the tears and black eyes will be worth it. This relates to anything, not just cheerleading. What you put into your work is what you get out.

Until Next Time,

Kaitlyn